Why Write a Family Mission Statement
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With everything that’s going on in the world, more and more people are realizing how important time spent with family can be. But if you’re like many parents, it’s unclear how to create a strong family culture. This is especially true for families who don’t have a church community or family nearby. But building a close knit family that aligns to your personal values is possible and it starts by understanding your family vibe.
Keep reading for my top tips for creating an intentional family culture when you don’t have that village everyone keeps saying you need.
I won’t pretend that you can create a strong family culture after reading one blog post. Your family is constantly changing and adapting to challenges and you will need to change your parenting and traditions as you encounter new obstacles. But the best place to start is to uncover your family vibe and create a family mission statement.
Uncovering the Family Vibe
So what exactly is the family vibe?
It’s how you want your family to feel. When your kids hear someone else complain about their families, it’s the words you want them to say in response. Maybe for you it’s cozy. Or adventurous. Or creative. You can also think of it like a word or theme of the year but for your family!
The family vibe should be at the center of everything you do as a family because it’s how you want your family to feel. Obviously, you shouldn’t limit yourself to only activities that fit in your adjective’s box. But when things are feeling off, you want to be able to easily identify the activities and actions that aren’t in alignment.
If your goal is a cozy family, filling every night of the week with activities is out of alignment. If your vibe is adventurous, only venturing out of the house once every two months isn’t going to work.
Take time to talk to everyone in your family about what makes them tick and what they’d like to see more of. Try to come up with a word or phrase that encompasses how everyone wants to feel. If everyone has a completely different idea, maybe your word is “included” or “open-minded”.
How Often Should You Check In With the Family Vibe?
I like to check in once a year, the new year or your wedding anniversary is a great time to do this! We usually start doing a family inventory and reevaluate all of our goals in mid-December as our anniversary is December 14. It gives us time to marinate with the end goal of New Year’s Day to really settle on any new goals.
Try not to put too many limits on when you check-in. If things are feeling off or priorities have shifted, have a family meeting and discuss choosing a new word or redefining what it looks like in this season of life.
Clarify Your Family Vision
After you figure out what you want the overall vibe to be, how you want your family to feel when they think about home, it’s time to clarify your family vision.
What, exactly, does your family culture look like in your day-to-day life? There are two ways to really dig deep on this.
Figure Out What Family Culture You Want
This one is the easy one. What activities, words, and actions would best embody your family vibe? Are there new routines you can put in place to achieve this?
Let everyone brainstorm together what being [insert adjective here] means to them. What will other people say about your family when they describe you?
Most Importantly, Figure Out What Family Culture You Don’t Want
This one is trickier but more important. Clarify what you don’t want. Coziness and laziness can sometimes look the same from the outside. Creativity at the expense of someone else’s supplies or time won’t foster strong family connections. What could the downside of your family vibe be and how can you make sure you’re avoiding it?
Family Culture Roadblocks
There will always be conflict and bumps in the road. They’re unavoidable parts of being part of a community. How we handle these roadblocks and difficult times are what truly determine if we have a close-knit family with a strong family culture or not.
While you can’t figure out all of your family’s challenges ahead of time (although wouldn’t that be nice), you can determine your values and understand each family member’s unique strengths and needs to better approach challenges when they do arise.
How To Figure Out Your Family Values
It’s easy to say what your family wants to value but take a look at your family’s actions to truly see what you value. Time together? Time apart? Communication?
Make a list of the things you think you value as a family and then try to find examples in your day-to-day life. Be sure to write them, down, it will be important for when you create a family mission statement!
If there are values you find that are missing in your actions, take some time to figure out how to teach these values to your kids and model them in your own behavior. While I think most family culture discussions should be held as a whole family, it could be a good idea to have a conversation and make a game plan with your partner before you bring it up with your children.
Write Your Family Mission Statement
The hard part is done! You’ve already laid the groundwork for a strong family culture and now it’s time to tie it all together in a neat bow. A quick formula to do this could be:
Our family is [insert family vibe]. We value [insert values] and strive to [goals] every day.
Your family mission statement should be a living statement that you are able to update and change as your family grows and changes. Refer back to your family mission statement during family meetings or when making important family decisions!
What’s next?
Creating a strong family culture doesn’t begin and end when you create a family mission statement. It’s a constant effort, sometimes easy and sometimes very, very challenging, to build and grow together.
A great next step can be to create a family vision board for the upcoming year!
Do you have a family mission statement? How has it impacted your family culture? I would love for you to share with me!